57 woman this month | October 2011 | Several studies indicate that neither gender, nor biological relationship establish what makes a good or appropriate parent. Likewise, the number or marital status of parents is equally insufficient in determining the potential of a parent. What does matter is the quality and style of parenting performed by whatever parents are available. In the modern age we live in, we need to understand that parenting can be carried out by any appropriate person who takes accountability for a child. We are beginning to embrace a more fluid definition of what constitutes a family. Believing in feminism — the understanding than men and women are equal and should have the same rights — will affect how a family is run. When more than one parent is present, it is more likely that the parents in a feminist family will agree to share the responsibility for both the physical and the emotional work of caring for children. As more and more women are enjoying careers, it is no longer appropriate to assume that housework, cooking and taking the children to school is a woman’s job. In a feminist family, both parents are likely to perform domestic duties and to teach the children to get involved too, at an appropriate age, regardless of their gender. As equality and democracy are part of the feminist ethos, it can become part of the feminist parenting practice to promote open communication between all family members. Decisions can be made inclusively and democratically as appropriate to the child’s age and level of understanding. This open and inclusive communication and decision making allows for a warm and intimate parent-child relationship. Children of feminist parents are likely to learn to challenge, not only patriarchy and sexism, but the idea of hierarchy itself. Parents encourage and model acceptance of diversity. Parents engage children in discussions about imbalances of power between groups of people based on race, class, gender, and other discriminating characteristics and teach them to identify discrimination. Children are trained to view the world through a feminist lens and to think critically about the dominant culture. When children are taught to think critically and are included in the decision-making processes, they learn to be self-reliant, have self-governance and mutual respect. Having children partake in household chores, allowing them autonomy and encouraging an open communication process is empowering to all members of the family. This also helps prepare children for interaction with the world outside of the family, which may not always display equivalent principles. They will learn to deal with discrimination. For feedback, comments or questions contact Dr Jinan Darwish via email at: [email protected] Children need to be raised in affectionate environments — environments in which men and women share responsibility and respect one another. Feminist Parenting Facts • One of the most constructive things that the feminist movement did for children was to generate greater awareness of the need for men to participate equally in parenting — not just to create gender equity, but to build better relationships with their offspring. • Women who head households in patriarchal society often feel guilty about the absence of a male figure and compensate by imparting sexist values to children, especially males. • There has been a serious failure to confront adult female violence against children. As responsible women we need to address this. Tips
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