62 | January 2012 | woman this month Parenting 10. I will always remember that growing up is hard work. It takes practice and patience and time. My children need support around them. When I am old and I reflect on who I was as a parent, they will say that I was strong, supportive and that I had great faith in them. I will not be remembered as a mother who nagged, moaned or mollycoddled. So, now you have read ideas of what parenting resolutions can look like, why not have a go at writing some of your own? Next, we look at how you can assist your children in setting their own targets. Helping Your Children To Set Goals Even though New Year's resolutions are, curiously, an adult phenomenon, we aren’t often particularly good at sticking to them. How many of us have laid down manageable or ambitious plans only to see them fade out by the January 15? Well, our children see this and it likely makes them think that resolutions aren't really worth sticking to. The answer? Encourage your children to get involved and write some resolutions with you. Resolutions are a good message as they encourage self-development and life-long learning. They introduce the idea of a fresh start, an effort to improve one's self in some way, that it's never too late to try. It's about thinking positively and optimistically and these are all the things that children need too. So, enabling them to develop some realistic resolutions of their own can be good for everyone. Tips to remember l If you as a parent make a resolution for yourself, tell your child about it and your reasons for embarking on the challenge. Children learn by example and you are their most prominent role model. l When helping your child set their own goals, be sure to make them pick something achievable. They won’t be solving world peace tomorrow, so don’t let them set their hopes too high. l Spending more time together is always a good goal to make. It means that you will bond even further and your child will feel loved and cherished. l Some resolutions will fail and you are bound to hit bumps in the road. Part of growing up is learning that not everything is achievable and not everything quite works how you intend it to. A real show of strength for your child would be for them to see you get back on the horse, to pick up where you left off even if you have let your resolutions slip. Whatever you do, don’t give up completely. Adapt and change, accept that obstacles will arise, but do your best. Example resolutions for children 1. Starting a new sport or talent. If they haven’t already tried something like football or hockey or even playing the trumpet, then why not give it a go? Agree on how many classes or sessions they ought to be taking a week. Keep it to a number that they can stick to. Agree on a plan of action if they don’t like it [DASH] for example, don’t let them just give up completely. Decide on a certain number of sessions they must complete before making up their mind and, if they don’t like it still, suggest they take up something else instead. 2. Doing a good deed every day. This is a great one because it is so easy, but it teaches children a lot! Your child can decide to complete one act of kindness everyday. This could be as simple as picking up a pencil that someone else accidentally dropped at school and handing it back to them. Get them to come home and tell you about their good deed for the day and ask them how it made them feel. 3. Making new friends. This will encourage children to develop their confidence and their ability to communicate with different people. They should aim to make one new friend a week, or every two weeks. It could be a person at school that they haven’t spoken to before, or the child of a friend of yours, or someone at the playground. Keep a good eye on who they choose, but making friends with other children is rarely a bad thing. 4. Less time on the computer. For every hour spent playing video games or on the internet, your child could agree to do something more hands on or active — such as helping to cook a new dish for supper, reading a new book, talking to siblings or playing in the garden. 5. Striving for better grades. Telling children that they need to perform better in the classroom doesn’t normally work. They see this as a command and will become reluctant. If the idea is their own, on the other hand, then they are much more likely to want to follow through. Ask them how it would make them feel to get better marks; set up their own gold star selfreward system at home; agree that you will do something special together if they get a certain number of good grades. Make learning a positive experience that they have a say in themselves.
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