61 woman this month | January 2012 | It’s New Year’s Eve. The lights are flashing, the music is playing, friends and family are together, it’s chilly outside and you are ready to embark on another chapter of parenting. New Year's Eve has traditionally been a time for jotting down a list of all the things we want to accomplish or change in the next twelve months. Many of us will have, at some time or another, vowed to do more exercise; eat fewer calories; spend more time with our families and even have more fun. Planning and evaluating our lives gives us a chance for a new start, but it also provides time for reflection. So, what do you want to change in 2012 as a parent? It is always a good idea to take time to re-evaluate how we respond to our children. This way we can strive to ensure that we are really paying attention to their changing needs as they grow older. So, start thinking about what to give up and what to make room for. In the spirit of excitement, change and action, this article aims to provide you with a top ten tips for change. It will also highlight some ways that you can encourage children to set goals for themselves. New Year’s Resolutions for Parents 1. I will always ensure that my children are empowered — if they can do it for themselves, I will let them. This will allow their self-esteem to grow whilst they navigate their own life. 2. I will encourage my children to take risks, big risks (as long as they are not physically or morally dangerous). I will be brave enough to do this and they will see that I am brave. They will develop their courage as they continue their journey to adulthood, ready for the exciting and challenging world ahead. 3. I will ask more questions and listen to the answers. I will ask more and give advice less. The more my children can figure things out on their own, the better. I am there as a guide, not a lecturer. 4. I will see my children’s learning as a process. I will appreciate them for who they are now, as well as looking to nourish their potential for the future. My children are worthy of my love and attention and I will give them what they need and deserve, every step of the way. 5. I am not the CEO! Our family is a team and so I will include my children in as many decision-making processes, those that involve them directly or indirectly, as possible. This will encourage independent thinking and responsibility. 6. Serenity — I will accept the things I cannot change. Some things are beyond my control. I will be there to help when mistakes are made and accidents occur. I have faith in my children's abilities to handle what life brings them, but nobody is perfect. If I do not show faith in my children, they will never learn to have faith in themselves or their world. 7. I will choose child-centred parenting, which involves making parenting decisions in the greatest interest of my child, not based on what my family, friends or neighbours will think. I will not seek approval or go with the majority; I know what good parenting is myself. I will be strong and a model to my children. I will show them that what the outside world thinks about me is so much less important as what I think. 8. I will only talk about my children's strengths. And I will keep talking about them to anyone who will listen! I will praise my children again and again. In this way, if they ever overhear me talking about them, they will feel loved and respected as unique individuals. 9. I will make time to offer my children opportunities to practice life skills as well as concentrating on their reading and writing. In time, they will draw more heavily on these life skills that I have allowed them to learn.
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