42 | November 2012 www.womanthismonth.com Parenting Are You Over-parenting? Persistent, prying, panic or pandemonium — how are you overdoing your role as a parent? While culturally and ethically there is an underlying and unwritten consensus about appropriate and inappropriate parenting, many are confused about what is the right amount and type required to ensure their children become confident, socialised, talented and productive for their future life. With this in mind, is over-parenting really a fair term or concept? Parental involvement has been studied for many years. Optimal parenting, referred to as a parent who is involved and responsive, who sets high expectations but respects their child’s autonomy, was a word used by Diana Baumrind, a clinical and developmental psychologist at the University of California in the ‘50s and ‘60s. What is important here is having boundaries while also listening to your child. As Madeline Levine, clinician, consultant and author asserted in the New York Times in August, such parents are seen to have a perfect balance of involvement and independence. Plus, they generally raise children who do better academically, psychologically and socially, compared to those whose parents are permissive and less involved, or controlling and more involved. So, what makes this balancing act so successful and what can we learn from it? It is clear that these parents work on cultivating motivation. The term “authoritative parenting”, seen by many as the optimum mentoring style, is referred to as democratic, involving a childcentric approach in which parents hold high expectations for their children. By Dr Clare Beckett-McInroy
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy Mjk0MTkxMQ==