www.womanthismonth.com 81 July 2013 themselves or a bigger family because support is affordable and available. The main message is, if you do or do not have help, that’s your choice. Don’t judge others! Why seek help? There are, of course, many reasons why you may need an extra pair of hands, such as when you have had a new baby, if you work, whilst working on a project, studying, travelling or looking after your family. You may be fortunate enough to spend more quality time with your children, friends and loved ones instead of ironing, running errands and completing chores. In fact, do you need a reason at all? For many families it is the norm to have two, three, four or more helpers. If your helper is being treated appropriately and provided with a better standard of living than they could achieve in their own country, then they will probably be very happy to work for you. Help at home can be provided by men and women in the form of drivers, nannies, gardeners, doulas and cleaners from many different countries. One helper, Nirmala Damyanthi from Sri Lanka, commented, “I do my work in the same way I would for my own home. I am happy to work because they are a very good family and I can send home money for my own family. I have been in Bahrain for 14 years.” A second home Sadly, not all helpers experience the same warmth. The news shows that some staff are treated like second class citizens, working extremely long hours without the appropriate remuneration, respect or working conditions. Support for such workers, although available, tends to be reactive as opposed to proactive. Some people treat their home help with kindness and generosity, whilst other families treat them quite appallingly, parents and children alike! That being said, helpers may bring problems as well through unreliability, lack of skills and knowledge or the right attitude, or worse! The solution? Ensure you take up references from a reliable person or a friend, ideally, and coach your helpers in the way you want things done. Many families have two working parents and so help is essential. It’s a necessity as opposed to a luxury. In the Middle East this is a feasible and financially viable option. You may rely upon your helper(s) as you juggle the demands of your family and career. Some people see them as part of their family, whereas other families choose to keep the relationship more streamlined. It is important that your children are shown, by your example, how to treat your home helper. Teach them to understand how lucky they are to have someone to help you and “I do my work in the same way I would for my own home. I am happy to work
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