womanthismonth.com | AUGUST 2025 OPINION 14 “It is literally impossible to be a woman.” That one line from Barbie, fiercely delivered by America Ferrera’s character Gloria, in her iconic speech, hit women around the world like a gut punch. Because it’s depressingly true. We’re expected to be thin, but not too thin. Confident, but not arrogant. Natural, but perfectly polished. Always striving, never enough. That speech doesn’t just live in a movie, it lives rent free in the lives of women all over the world. Women who are navigating a maze of impossible standards, trying to be everything to everyone, while constantly being told we’re falling short. And the beauty standard? That’s one of the most punishing mazes of all. The Double Standard Dilemma There’s this exhausting double standard we’re stuck in. If a woman decides to get fillers, Botox or cosmetic surgery, she’s ‘fake’ or ‘desperate.’ But if she chooses to embrace her wrinkles, stretch marks or grey hairs, she’s ‘let herself go.’ We’re told to age gracefully, but not too visibly. There’s always someone ready to comment, to critique, to suggest. And sadly, sometimes that someone is another woman. We’ve been so conditioned by unrealistic standards that we have started policing each other, forgetting we’re all struggling under the same weight. Social Media and the Comparison Trap Social media adds fuel to the fire. We scroll through picture-perfect faces and bodies, all filtered and edited to within an inch of reality, and yet we still compare ourselves. Often disappointed that we are inevitably falling short. The full lips. The snatched jawlines. The effortless skin. Even when we know it’s curated, it still affects us. For younger girls growing up with these images as the norm, it’s especially damaging. They’re not just being exposed to unrealistic standards, they’re being taught to equate their value to how closely they can imitate them. That’s not self-expression. That’s self-erasure. Diet Culture and the Illusion of Control Let’s not forget the body standards, which might be the most brutal of all. We’re taught to believe that being thinner (in all the right places, of course), automatically means being better. More disciplined, more attractive, more put together. It’s a lie that hides behind wellness trends, clean eating and toxic praise for weight loss, no matter the cost. For many women, chasing a specific number on the scale becomes a full-blown obsession. What starts as dieting can spiral into anxiety around food, disordered eating and a complete disconnect from one’s own body. It’s not about health, it’s about the illusion of control. When in reality it’s actually about a lack of it. The Goalposts Are Always Moving Perhaps the cruellest part of all this? The beauty ideal is constantly shifting. In the early 2000s, it was size zero. Remember when Kate Moss controversially said: “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?” Then it was the hourglass Kardashian silhouette. Now it’s the ‘naturalbut-not-really’ aesthetic: glossy skin, sculpted features, just the right amount of casual effort. Trying to keep up is exhausting, expensive and impossible. And that’s the point. If you’re always chasing an unattainable look, you’ll always feel like you need fixing. And that means you’ll keep Chasing the Mirage: THE TRUTH ABOUT BEAUTY STANDARDS AND SELF-WORTH Rachel Radford is an expat teacher. Her column in Woman This Month dives into pivotal issues impacting women, reflecting her unique perspective and experiences. spending your money, time and self-worth trying to measure up. What If We Opted Out? So what if we stopped playing along? What if we looked at a woman and, instead of asking: “What has she done to her face?” we asked: “Is she happy? Is she free?” Whether she’s had aesthetic work or not, wears makeup or doesn’t, chooses to age naturally or smooths it out. It’s her call after all. Her body, her rules. The only thing we should be doing is supporting one another. Complimenting each other without comparison. Defending each other when the world tries to tear us down. Creating spaces where women feel safe to be real, not just “beautiful.” We Deserve Better, and We Deserve Each Other The system isn’t broken, it’s designed this way. But we’re allowed to reject it. We’re allowed to stop measuring our value in likes, kilograms or how closely we match this year’s beauty algorithm. The real glow-up? It’s when women start building each other up. When we stop whispering critiques and start shouting encouragement. When we raise our daughters, sisters and friends to know they are more than just a body to be judged. I’d like to end with one of my favourite quotes by author, editor and blogger Erin Keane: “Pretty isn’t the rent you pay to exist in this world as a woman.”
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