September 2018 www.womanthismonth.com LIFESTYLE | opinion 70 THE SUBTLE ART OF DINING WITH CHILDREN I can remember the days when going out for lunch or dinner used to be spontaneous, and didn’t require any prior planning… Yeah, the days before I became a mother. Now, with a very active, extremely adventurous, and a bit too loud four-year-old boy on board, I’ve became hooked on Pinterest, always on the lookout for new simple activities to keep my child in his seat for a decent amount of time, just enough for me and his dad to peacefully finish our meal, without having to deal with tantrums or having to discipline my kid while receiving angry looks from diners who have no desire to get a glimpse of what parenting in public looks like. Let’s face it, children have no interest in Thai, Italian, Moroccan or whichever cuisine you decide to indulge in; they also don’t have the ability to sit still for long periods of time, so taking them to a closed space that requires them to sit down for at least an hour is simply torture! Sometimes we lovingly expect our children to behave like adults and we blame them if they don’t, forgetting all about their limited capabilities and how they are still at the beginning of their learning journey. Therefore, having high expectations will only result in lost battles and lots of tears – shed by both parties, parents as well as kids. On the other hand, we can’t just deprive ourselves of the pleasure of having a nice meal in a pleasant atmosphere every once in a while, just because we decided to reproduce! So, today I will share some of the tips that have been working greatly for us and hopefully they will work for you too! 1 First of all, choose your place wisely. Avoid going to fine-dining restaurants which are more designed for grown-ups than children. 2 Time your trip so the child is not too tired and grumpy by the time you start your meal; this way you can avoid unnecessary meltdowns and tantrums. 3 Bring supplies! I use a bag that we call ‘The entertainment bag’, where I store a few simple board games or memory games, which I know my child loves, and a book which I change after every outing, so he doesn’t get bored. I also always have some paper and crayons in case he decides to get creative and a few small toys that I know he likes and which will keep him busy. Plus we have invented a few games that we all play as a family, while we are waiting for our food, such as ‘The opposites game’ where each one will give a word and the rest are required to say the opposite, or ‘The guessing game’ where each one will describe a fruit or vegetable, without saying what it is, and the rest will have to guess. This is so much fun, very informative and helps in connecting with the child. 4 Give the child a chance to choose their meal. I usually ask for another menu for my son because they almost never give him one…well he is only four! If the menu doesn’t have pictures of the food, I just tell him what they have and let him decide for himself. In addition to giving him a voice and making him heard, this also keeps the child busy for some extra minutes, because even after choosing their meal they like to browse through the menu (so it’s a win; win). 5 Don’t get too comfortable. I’m a slow eater and I love to enjoy my meals, but when my child is with us I try to set a time limit. Usually we don’t stay for more than an hour or whenever I notice that he is getting tired of sitting down, we usually make a move. 6 My last advice is to always respect other diners, and always try to clean up a bit before you leave. This will teach your child to be mindful of others and to always be thoughtful, respectful and considerate of other people’s feelings. Chanelmama Ouiam Charkani El Hassani on the dos and don’ts of introducing your kids to restaurant culture.
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