March 2019 www.womanthismonth.com 24 showcase CREATIVITY WITHIN MOTHERHOOD With Mother’s Day approaching, two women speak frankly about the challenges they have faced. Hosts RANA ALAMUDDIN Actress, TV host and women’s empowerment activist. Please give us a little information about yourself, your background and what you do. How has motherhood changed the way you work? I am an actress and a TV host and the founder of Bayneh W Baynek a platform for the multi-faceted, unapologetic Arab woman on a mission to self-realise. We officially launched last September with a raw and intimate conversation with Oscarnominated filmmaker Nadine Labaki. This is the pilot for a conversation series with inspiring women from all over the Arab world. This platform is really designed to give women from the entire region a voice in a safe, non-judgemental and supportive environment. Motherhood has definitely changed the way I work because I have less time so I have learned how to maximise in a short period of time. I think becoming a mother makes you more creative because you become less self-centred. When you have another person to take care of, it’s no longer me, me, me – all about me. But also, giving birth, giving life is a creative process. So, I think that, in and of itself, opens your chakras, opens your channels to be more creative and more receptive. I really do believe that motherhood is a divine privilege in which we get to cocreate with the divine. So, that channel has opened and you can’t really close it. So definitely, I’ve become more creative since I’ve been a mother and I’ve learned how to manage my time. Before I could spend 10-12 hours or 15 hours trying to work on a script or a role but not necessarily feel inspired. But, since I’ve had children, I think 'OK, I have 15 minutes to write this or I have two hours to come up with an idea'. You become much more efficient in a short period of time. Of course, it also slows you down in certain ways. Sometimes I feel that, because I’m a mother, I can’t spend 15 hours in a row just lost on a project or an idea or brainstorming on visuals for a project. So, in a way, I do feel as if it’s amplified my creativity and my receptiveness but at the same time it does slow you because you have other humans who need you and that you need to prioritise. Do women still confront the attitude that they have to choose between following their creative dreams and having children? Absolutely, there’s still that attitude and I think from us as well. As mothers, we sometimes feel torn because the truth is, it’s difficult. I’m not going to say everything is rosy or you can have it all. You can do everything. You can, of course, do both but there’s a price to pay. For me, for instance, right now, the price is my sanity, my health. I get sick. I crash, I get adrenal exhaustion, I have hormonal issues happening because I'm working seven days a week at the moment. I’ve got a lot of things going on between my film career and my platform – I’m curating and creating content, I’m writing and I’m working on campaigns, I have a very small team and we have no budget yet until we get sponsors on board; so, I’m really spread thin. And I have my kids and my husband and we travel. So, right now I can say that the price I’m paying is my health and sometimes my mental and emotional wellbeing. So, it’s not just the main attitude in our society that’s classical that the man is the breadwinner, that he goes and makes the money and the woman stays at home with the kids. It’s wonderful if that’s what you want but, for me, it’s just not enough for me to feel fulfilled. As an artist I have to create, I have to communicate with larger audiences, I need to keep that side of me active. So, for me, it’s trying to reconcile and be at peace. I’m doing my best but sometimes I feel that I’m failing. Sometimes I feel like I’m failing as a mother. Sometimes I feel like I’m failing at work. Because it’s really hard to do both. If you have found it a challenge to combine the two, how have you overcome this? I wouldn’t say you overcome it because it’s a daily thing. Every day I ask myself “Am I being the best mother I can?” Not even that, I ask myself, “Am I being a good mother full stop?” And every day I’m thinking: Am I doing well at my work? Am I missing opportunities? Am I not working enough? Should I put in more hours? Do I need to tell my mum to come and stay with the kids so that I can focus on work? I have these questions every single day, so I can’t say I’ve overcome this but I’ve helped myself by really accepting what
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