Womanthismonth.com 44 June 2024 EMBRACING CHANGE Explore the modern Arab mother’s multifaceted role in today’s world with Dr. Diana Cheaib Houry, a psychotherapist at Thrive Wellbeing Centre in Dubai who is licensed by the Community Development Authority. In a world marked by constant evolution, the role of women has known many changes, specifically in an Arab world exposed to modernity. Access to education and to the public sphere, mainly through work, has made women’s identity more complex and their role multifaceted, no longer restricted to the roles of spouse and mother. Women have become an essential element in the social and economic world, but naturally this change also comes with an array of challenges, especially for mothers. While change has been welcomed by women and fought for, embracing it isn’t always an easy process. Today’s women have choices and can set their priorities. Whilst choosing can be a symbol of freedom, it can often expose women to guilt, especially around motherhood which is still a very important component of women’s identity. During our clinical practice, we often witness the fear of missing out on motherhood. Women are frequently reminded that “careers are important but don’t forget your personal life”. We also witness how becoming a mother can be an intense identity shift. A lot of apprehension can be shared around how to manage a career and motherhood, with many women confessing after giving birth “no one prepared me for this” or “this is not what I expected”. Who Are The Modern Mothers of Today? Testimonials of today’s mothers give us a glimpse into who they can be: • They are definitely more educated than the previous generations. They are exposed, if not over exposed to knowledge around parenting, through literature and social media. • They now have the choice of when to conceive and often have full time jobs with more advanced careers, which can mean they are capable, and are described as “modern” but have also interiorised the traditional way of parenting. • Modern mothers put pressure on themselves to achieve in motherhood, as well as in their career in the same phase. They often have high standards for their children’s wellbeing: for instance, we notice that more mothers are committing to breastfeeding for a longer period, watching their children’s diet, activities and psychological balance. They are more insightful, aim to break generational trauma and look to adopt a different way of parenting from their parents. • They aim not to sacrifice their femininity in exchange for motherhood. • They don’t have a guideline or a reference, since the one of their own mothers isn’t necessarily adapted to their reality. All these expectations from “modern” motherhood are faced everyday with the reality of lack of control, and the emotional challenges once the baby is there. Motherhood isn’t an intellectual process but an emotional one. The loss of control is one of the most difficult challenges for working mothers, so familiar with control and management in the setting of work: “I have never been such a mess”, a working mother of two recently confessed. LIFESTYLE | opinion Here are a few things we need to consider:
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