www.womanthismonth.com 67 July 2014 Let your children decide on their career and support their decision Woman This Month (WTM): What’s most important about parenting for you? Time — I think it’s the biggest gift you can give them. It’s about doing things with them, exploring, finding things out together, going to museums and art galleries, and encouraging them to experience art and culture. Creativity is important as it is part of being independent and finding your own little niche. As we are all different people, without exploration, life’s a bit boring. Life should be exciting. Make them interested in sports. Let them be aware of what athletes have to do regarding practice, diet and dedication. Nothing comes easy, children need to learn perseverance. Be their friend. You’ve got to be their friend so they are confident and that they know you love them. It’s not about bossing them about and telling them what to do. Parenting is serious, but you’ve got to have laughs together as that develops a bond; it’s fun! Make sure they understand that they can tell you everything so that they can discuss anything. Give them your point of view and be open-minded. At the end of the day, you are still the guide for them when it comes to deciding which way to go and what to do. Woman This Month: What would you do differently, if you were parenting all over again? I think I would have listened more. I think I was a bit dictatorial with my point of view. And the impact was it was my way or none. I was a bit stubborn and this caused conflict of opinions. Having said that, the age that I was brought up in was about the parent being in control. And it’s only looking back now that I see I should have listened to the children more. If I had listened more, what things would have come up? I wasn’t always right. The generation before me, my mother was a one parent family, having been widowed at a very young age and you could not have a different of opinion with her. We were silenced. We were not allowed to be the person we wanted to be. She was in control. We were ordered. It must have been very hard for her to be a single parent at 28 with four daughters and her extended family to care for. It just became a way of life and she still treated me as a child when I had my own children, telling me what to do. As a child I always wanted to be a hairdresser. She didn’t let me as it would not bring enough money into the home and I hated being a seamstress, the profession I was told to follow. My sister would stand up to her and there were repercussions and conflicts. Let your children decide on their career and support their decision. WTM: How are families different today? There are too many electronic games to occupy their mind. Children don’t interact with the rest of the family as much as they used to. Let them out to play games with their friends and be child-like. Keep their childhood as long as you can as it’s such a precious time. Talk more as a family. Eat together. That’s very important as that’s the time you find out what’s happened during their day. It’s all character-building by looking at different points of view. And by playing, children learn from experiences about sharing, leading and creating their own fun. WTM: What do you want for children? I want children to be healthy and happy first. They need to be respectful because what you give, you get back. As parents, I want my children to be proud of their own children, of how they turn out as an extension of my family. I want children to develop and become independent. Encourage them to follow their dreams and ambitions. They owe you nothing. It’s about them living their life, having a full life and an enjoyable one, whichever path they choose — and that’s it really! Dr Clare Beckett-McInroy is a certified coach (CPCC, PCC), trainer and president of Biznet GCC. She has worked in a variety of positions, including university dean, managing director, teacher, trainer, consultant and occupational psychometrist in public and private education, and coaching for several business segments.
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