80 | January 2012 | woman this month Ihave been musing on the similarities between the book Peter Pan and Carl Gustav Jung’s philosophy of male irresponsibility. “Peur Aetnus”, according to Jung, later called “Peter Pan Syndrome”, is based on a man’s lack of desire to grow up, mature and take responsibility for themselves. Some men, it seems, prefer to remain children in their own world. According to Jung, many men dread the thought of being eternally bound to something — be that a woman, a job or even a mortgage. Jung states that some men see this as being “captured”, enslaved within their own life. To me, however, labeling such feelings a “condition” or a “syndrome” merely gives men an out or an excuse and will probably contribute to their inability to take responsibility for themselves! If men can blame things on Peter Pan Syndrome, what do we women get? I don’t want to be Wendy, who turns her back on Peter’s world and accepts that her fate is to grow old. “Wendy syndrome”, is too close to reality. It was once stated, “Little girls grow up to be ladies…Little boys grow up to be big boys.” We forgive the men in our lives for staying young and immature. Sure, they go to work and come home, pay a few bills, but they enjoy themselves too. Toys, sessions with the boys, macho clubs, man caves and buddy BBQ’s. And what do we women get to look forward to? Oh that’s right, organise the wedding and the catering, raise the kids, ensure they are picked up on time, drop them at football and rugby practice and basically be the mature adult for two people. Well, I want something different! I want to be irresponsible too and have it philosophically sanctioned. I want to live the life of Peter and Tinkerbell. In my world, I’d leave Peter with the children and let him look after them, let him grow old and be mature, while I go and fight in Never Never Land, pit my strength against the pirates or at least go shopping with them. Growing up is overrated! I remember having a pre-teen conversation with my mum. It was after she had found me attacking her make up box with the ferocity of a maddened clown. Wiping lip-stick from my cheeks and eye make up from my brow, she told me to stop being in such a hurry to grow up.I thought it was her that was crazy, not the young over painted clown looking back from the mirror at me. Today, I wish I had stopped and listened, slowed the whole process down. Taken time to play more with my younger brother and find out what was so magical about those cardboard swords he loved. Now that I have grown up, I just want to go back. What’s so grand about maturity; pain, responsibility, heartache and solitude? Few of us truly get the jackpot prize of happiness ever after. I want to be adventurous, to fly and escape the monotony of everyday life. Why is there no JM Barrie for us women! I’m not looking to be Cat Woman, Aqua Girl or Wonder Woman, I just want a to be a regular woman, with the ability to retreat into my own Never Never fantasy land every now and then, should I feel the need. I’m fed up of the double standards. Ageing women are made to dread their ageing process thanks to the stigmas attached to biological clocks, menopause and wrinkles. Whereas men get a golden ticket to do completely bizarre, selfish and ridiculous things and blame it on a “midlife crisis”. Well, I say enough of this. Anything they can do, we can do too. Let a few of us go out and spend the savings on a Ferrari, wear leather trousers and trade our husbands in for younger models and we’ll see how they feel after that! WoMentality Hard-headed Woman Wendy Syndrome
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