55 woman this month | February 2012 | Children come into the world with open arms, ready to accept the love made accessible to them by their parents. They grow, watch and learn with an avid eagerness and absorb the way people converse with each other, the tone of their voices, the way they touch and the words they select. There is nothing complicated about this process — it is organic in nature. If what they are exposed to is done in a loving way, then they will absorb the love. If, however, that same child is a witness to hatred, violence, anger, abuse, negative words, prejudice and constant fear, then they will learn to hate. All of these actions take a great deal of energy and are fraught with high emotion. It’s exhausting to maintain hatred and it is debilitating for those surrounded by it. It costs much to teach a child to hate, but love is ever so easy to pass on. A child is wired for love from birth and only needs a continuation of the peace they have in their soul to grow into a loving and peaceful adult. Helping children develop a positive self-image lies solely in the hands of the parents. Unless you love yourself, you cannot love others. The basic guideline that parents can teach their children is to love oneself, as he or she is. A positive self-image will ultimately lead to self-esteem, which is a major requirement for achieving success in life. A positive self-image is a major ingredient for happiness and develops into a formidable weapon later in life. A negative self-image will make the child emotionally indifferent and frustrated. Children love it when they hear that somebody loves them. So, make it a point to tell your children that you love them, every day. Make your children believe that you love them as they are. Don’t try to mould your children according to what you want them to be. That way, instead of making their life easier, you will only be making a protective cage around them. Children will develop a positive outlook if they believe that their parents are behind them. Always be polite with your kids. Give space to your children. Let them make simple decisions or guide them through it. Give them the freedom to choose. In this way, they will gradually develop their confidence. Tell your children that mistakes and failure are a part of life. Teach them to consider it an opportunity not a responsibility. Teach your children that the journey is what matters, not the destination. “It costs so little to teach a child to love, and so much to teach him to hate.” Father Flanagan (1886-1948) I Love Me For feedback, comments or questions contact Dr Jinan Darwish via email at: [email protected] • There is no better way than to see, or be seen by, a child. Take time to look into their eyes. • Really listen to your child. Don't disrupt them when they are talking, or finish their sentences for them. • Introduce your child to people. Don't act as if they aren't there. • Always tell your children the truth. Trust me, over the years will bring its own rewards. • Exhibit your child's artwork and schoolwork in prominent places. • Remember, if your child thinks it's important, it's important. Show them you value their opinions and ideas. Respect your child's privacy. • Be genuinely interested in your child's day. Ask about how their day went, and let them share their triumphs and discontent with you. • Pray with your children. Nothing will bring you closer than the power of the simple expression of prayer. Tips
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy Mjk0MTkxMQ==