80 August 2014 www.womanthismonth.com she says A Pat on the Back by BEHNAZ SANJANA When you appreciate those around you, the value of your relationships appreciates. It is what brings out the best in people across all industries, cultures and mindsets. I was stumped with my son’s aversion to homework from school. I reasoned, chided, threatened and even bribed him to take to his text books. It turns out that most sevenyear-olds have a mind of their own; one they don’t change very easily. His obstinacy made me tear my hair. Our home turned into a war zone every evening, ending with him in tears and me fuming. One regular day not so long ago, peering over his shoulders, I commented on how quickly (and willingly) he had finished his homework. The pat on his back evoked a wide, toothless smile on his beaming face. He looked happy that I had something good to say to him at the study table after a long, long time. He enthusiastically opened another book to show off his reading skills. And that is when it struck me. I’d tried various tactics to coerce him in to studiousness — except good, old fashioned appreciation!This prompted me to start my covert experiments with people around me and the effects of pure, unadulterated, straight-from-the-heart appreciation. What I found was that it worked like a magic mantra to make them want to outdo themselves. It made my toddler use the potty seat after weeks of futile coaxing and cajoling. It made the house help want to work better. It made my professional and personal relations warmer and stronger. No matter how small or insignificant a task, I figured that appreciation is what makes people tick. Sadly, we don’t see much positive acknowledgement flying about the place these days. Thank you notes went out of style long ago. A quick blink of the hazard lights for someone who gives us way on the roads or a smile and a “thank you” to the cashier of the cold store is a rarity. It doesn’t cost us time, energy or money. We are so engrossed with ourselves and our smartphones that we hardly maintain eye contact with the human beings we interact with day in and day out. The art of appreciation isn’t only for those around you, but also for the person within you. Small rewards for yourself after an honest day’s work builds self-esteem and selfworth. You don’t need to be great at rocket science to be able to think highly of yourself. The working woman who seamlessly balances a career and a well-functioning household; the entrepreneur of a thriving small business; the homemaker who dedicates her life to her family; the earnest student with big dreams — we all deserve heartfelt applause. So go ahead; be generous in your appreciation for someone. It’ll make their day and yours too.
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