56 | August 2012 | woman this month WoMentality Seven Points of By Hard-headed Woman What exactly is it that we look for in the perfect man? While there might be no 'right' answers, there are always 'views'. Reflection My BFF and I were talking recently about the most topical subject for 30-something women — men. So, I gave her my top seven list of requirements. Intellect: not just intelligence but the mind that can speak, talk and communicate on subjects sometimes out of their comfort zone. A positive mental attitude, that sees potential in even the most alarming of situations rather than the negativity of everything and potential hazards of all that we do. My father spent a lifetime seeing the negative in almost everything we did, he did and that we might all do. It clouded his brain from the wonderment of having a family, having health and his freedom. Chivalry: Despite women’s fight for equality, I miss the chivalrous man who would open a door for me. Call it being a true gentleman, call it being in true love or just call it kind. Whatever it is, I like it and I miss it in most. Charm: the unstated magic that lights a person’s soul from within and allows them to light up a room by their mere presence. Romance: heart felt love, pure thoughts for another, gifts from the heart, not just flowers on the way home because they forgot to buy you anything. Sense of humour: to be able to laugh at themselves and at others, at dire situations and in moments of pure joy. I’m not looking for a clown or an idiot, just someone who can lighten the mood or put a smile on my face when the day has been long. Wonderlust: the amazing spirit of adventure to do things at the flick of a switch, to be amused by life and to see potential in almost everything. Loyalty: this is on the bottom of my list, because pretty much, if he does not have the other six prerequisites then he won’t be loyal anyway. Without a doubt though if loyalty to me, to his family and to the relationship does not exist, then we don’t exist! Finally my BFF asked me about the two points which she felt were her only requirements and two that I had apparently missed; looks and money. I am not so old as to be labelled wise, but I had to scoff at her suggestion that these are things she looks for in a companion for life. Without charm, chivalry, loyalty and intellect, I find that many of the best looking men I have dated are in fact ugly people, internally. And some of the richest men I have had the pleasure to meet are poor in spirit when it comes to sense of humour, romance and wonderlust. I came into this word with nothing and I’ll take nothing out. In between, I’d much prefer fun, friendship and loyalty over a cold, calculating ATM. We are not all perfect and there is perhaps a good reason why my BFF and I are heading into our middle years single. It also struck me though, that while we girls can sit and preside over the type of man we desire, that we perhaps needed to smarten up our own acts a little too. It’s easier after all to complain about others than it is to reflect upon ourselves. And so the reason I wanted to share my seven qualities of a man I seek with you is that I realise now that I need also to be the kind of person that I desire of a partner. It is a two-way checklist of sorts, for him and me. Somehow it all seemed easier for our parents. Perhaps with globalisation, our menu has become far too wide and appetising for any of us to choose just one dish and settle with it for life. But the modern single girl inside me prays that if I am the person that I desire, then I will be a magnet and attract the right person sooner or later.
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