6 | April 2013 www.womanthismonth.com What’s the point? I believe a lot of readers out there (including me) have asked this question to themselves at some moment. We have come to that same situation and same feeling that you feel so bored, unsatisfied and confused that we don’t know where we are heading. We need change, if we don’t want things to stay as they are. If you are an outgoing person, try to have fun at home. Learn to cook a new dish. Bake a cake with your family. Watch a movie with your friends. If you are an introvert, try breaking out of your shell. Join a social organisation. Learn a new sport. Attend yoga classes. Living is a choice. As Coco Chanel said, “The best things in life are free; the second best are expensive.” Mary, by fax. Letters 64 | March 2013 www.womanthismonth.com www.womanthismonth.com Iwas thinking about my mother the other day after I got off the phone from our biweekly conversation. She asked me a question that I had no answer for and for the first time in decades the woman actually had me stumped. WoMentality By Hard-headed Woman “Somebody should tell us right from the start of our lives that we are dying. Then we might live life to the full every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now; there are only so many tomorrows.” - Pope Paul VI. “What is the point to life if waking up every day just brings about the same routine?” I considered my mother’s age of 72. I guess by then I’ll be asking the same. Old enough I thought, for some clarity. She really had me thinking, “What am I doing here?” In my late thirties, single and confused as can be, I find myself standing at a crossroad. In one direction lies a town called Old age and in the other the villages of Senility and Discontentment, where my parents reside. Are we here to find something — perfection, perhaps? Maybe it’s happiness, bliss and even nirvana? Or is this, what we are already living, really it? And then I took a flight, for vacation reasons. And suddenly I was surprised by life itself. At the wrong side of 30, not many things do that. Most of the trivialities in life have been experienced many times over. Of things that annoy me, one of the highest ranking is boarding an aircraft to find someone else in my assigned seating. I book a window because I want a window. So my trip to the Far East started badly when 8K was already occupied by another person. A show of both boarding passes proved that neither of us was at fault. I relinquished my seat to the lady already occupying it. Seating sorted, all happy, I proceeded to comfort myself when lady in my seat began to talk. This is the second thing that really ticks me off. Of all my flown miles, one thing I have never done is to talk to the person seated beside me even during what seemed like certain doom. We are merely seated beside each other by chance, not choice. Massive difference! At first I tried not to listen, but eventually and strangely I found myself intrigued, interested, amused and laughing along with her life story. The flight took six hours. I slept for one; we talked for five. On my bucket list, I had among my entries the feat of holding a conversation with a total stranger about nothing in particular. That box has now been checked. 8K is no longer a stranger, but a wonderful acquaintance. What is the point to all this? Well sometimes, stop and smell the roses. You never know when your life will come to a screaming halt, and unlike my mother, I can now answer her question. Vincent Van Gogh stated, “One must work and dare if one really wants to live.” Sometimes we may need a reminder. I just had mine on the aircraft. The world is full of amazing things and amazing people and if you shut yourself off you just never know what you’re missing out on. I’m only sorry I haven’t struck up conversations on every other flight I’ve been on. From now on I’ll chat like a parrot. What’s the Point? WRITE IN AND WIN This month’s star letter will win a dinner voucher for two from Sheraton Hotel Bahrain. To dine at the exquisite Soie Restaurant, send us your views and opinions on our April 2013 edition either by email to editor@womanthismonth. com, by fax to 17 813-700 or by post to PO Box 20461. Change is here Having a teen is no easy job. As clichéd as it sounds, there’s nothing that can prepare you for it. All we can do as parents are share our experiences, learn from our mistakes and hope for the best. I’m a frequent reader of WTM and I find the parenting features very helpful and often eye-opening. I had never really considered my parenting style to affect my child’s career choice. Dr Clare BeckettMcInroy has encouraged me to take a look at myself before I expect my boy to make a life-altering decision. It’s never too late to fix things or at least try to. I’ve been trying to better myself. It is unfair to expect my child to succeed in life when I don’t believe I’m doing the best that I can. The first step is to do something I’m passionate about instead of whining about my job on a daily basis. I want him to understand that growing up might be difficult, but that it comes with its own share of joys. And as my steps towards a line of business that I thoroughly enjoy might be difficult, I’m happy to be struggling for something I love. Progress might come with time, but he is so proud of me and that’s what matters. Khulood, by email. A new self This time in particular, while reading the February issue of WTM, I felt the article entitled ‘Tapping the inner genius’ was totally in sync with the changes I am seeing unfold in my life. The three areas touched upon by the article were just the areas I currently am working on, and focusing a lot of my energy on. Just like Manar Al Rayes, I’ve lately begun giving my gut feeling a serious position in my life. In my opinion one just cannot take it lightly and shrug it off. History is proof. The second new thing is yoga. I’ve been practising yoga now for a couple of months and I’m still a beginner and loving it. I am also working on putting myself together in terms of my wardrobe. Every girl needs a little bit of style. Many of us forget that we need to care for ourselves during our youth, not just physically, but mentally and spiritually too. I’m for sure saving this copy of WTM. Creative genius, by email. www.womanthismonth.com 15 February 2013 | People Tapping the Inner Genius It does not matter what influences we have been subjected to. It’s our unique approach to life and its challenges that really defines who we are. Creativity is a quality that we most often associate with the arts and artistic endeavours rather than anything else. It is only in recent times that creativity has been acknowledged in the sphere of business. Yet, most entrepreneurs will vouch for the fact that it was the thrill of creating something new and the joy of achieving it which keeps them going. We spoke to three young businesswomen in Bahrain to examine how they apply creativity in driving their business forward. Manar Al Rayes Fresh Perspective Manar Al Rayes believes in examining everything that’s happening in her field of interest before she can develop her own perspective of things. The 24-year-old brand manager of fashion accessories at Sharif Group handles such brands as Armani, Misaki, Crislu, Rochas, Pierre Cardin and Espirit on her own. Her brief involves travelling to international exhibitions where she orders jewellery, followed by stocking, pricing as well as marketing the collections for four A La Mode showrooms across the entire country. While there is no dearth of advice from the women in the family, especially her mother, Manar is always eager for client feedback and forever trying to learn about the changing tastes. She has now learnt to trust her “gut feeling” developed over the last two years, in bringing specific designs to Bahrain. Manar is now readying for the launch of the Cavalli line of jewellery on the occasion of Valentine’s Day. She’s trained her eyes on her newly opened store at Enma Mall in Riffa, where the top end accessory lines have been flying off the shelves. An enthusiastic ambassador of her brands, she habitually sports pieces from her latest collection, something that never fails to catch the eye of friends and acquaintances. Taking her brand promotions viral, Manar has an Instagram page, where she routinely uploads the latest jewellery lines. This business and finance graduate from the University of Bangor, Wales, is happy to divide her time between her twin passions — handling delicate jewellery by day and hard core martial arts by evening. “Through the practice of Taekwondo, I’ve developed a lot of confidence and discipline, essential attributes in my line of work. Of course, it is a great stress buster and helps me release all the negative energy,” says this petite black belt holder from Albanna Taekwondo Center. Manar uses platforms such as Jewellery Arabia for direct interaction with her clients and suppliers. | February 2013 www.womanthismonth.com 16 People Invoking a Higher Self Her high stress corporate job was leaving her drained, when a healing course with a reiki master suddenly opened up Weam Zabar’s horizons. As she started reiki healing for others, she discovered a world where she could relax while being on a daily job. Weam launched Namaste Bahrain, which she calls her ‘one-stop shop for holistic healing and self discovery’ in April 2011. “There are plenty of places offering physical relaxation in Bahrain. With Namaste, the idea was to create a sanctuary, a hideaway that one can leave feeling more centred and connected with oneself,” she says. Catering to the body as well as the mind, the centre offers a wide array of services with classes and workshops in yoga, reiki, art therapy, reflexology, pilates, hypnotherapy and gastric mind band therapy. Weam is bubbling with ideas for activities every month, devising a mix of workshops and retreats that appeal to various age groups. She’s flying in a yoga teacher from India for a workshop, while a meditation retreat slated for February in Sri Lanka has already been sold out. For Weam, meditation has been her key to creativity, the door between her inner and outer worlds. “All the great artists, writers and sculptors would attest that creativity flows not when they are thinking from their lower mind, but from their higher self,” she says. “As an entrepreneur, I learnt that I needed to change my orientation and mental habits before I could change the world around me. The outer world is a reflection of the inner one and I need to spend more time working on myself before I try to change things externally,” she adds. Weam now plans to affiliate her centre with the Yoga Alliance to turn it into a Yoga School where teachers can undertake certified yoga training. Weam Zabar www.womanthismonth.com 17 February 2013 | Envisioning Trends A self-confessed day dreamer, Zainab Al Alawi practises the art of tapping into a rich mental imagery when she’s looking for ideas. The 23-year-old fashion buyer and brand manager of the multi-brand boutique. Sacoche, derives her inspiration from music, art and travel. Also managing the Italian fashion label Balenciaga, Zainab has a job that most girls her age would envy. She keeps up with the latest fashion trends and upcoming designers by constantly travelling to fashion shows in Milan, Paris and London. “We showcase a hand-picked selection of creations from the leading designers, sourced directly from the runways of the fashin capitals of the world,” she says. Back in Bahrain, she visualises the display at her stores and advises clients on style and the latest trends. Two years into the job, her initial euphoria has now subsided and her perspective tinged with experience. “I realise that I cannot bring in whatever I like. I need to take into account the multicultural base of Bahrain, as well as the regional tastes and preferences,” she adds. However, the buying pattern has definitely changed since she joined the company. While Sacoche Boutique continues its association with high-end labels Zagliani, Nancy Gonzalez and Lana Marks, Zainab has opted to bring in the more affordable, but stylish and sophisticated labels such as M Missoni, Red Valentino and Issa London. She has launched her own website and announces the latest trends, colours and new collections through her page on Instagram and Twitter. Zainab studied fashion design at the Royal University for Women but concedes that her fashion inspiration remains her mother, Sausan. Zainab Al Alawi 48 | March 2013 www.womanthismonth.com www.womanthismonth.com 49 March 2013 | Parenting Career Choice and Change As the world of work is changing, short term contracts are becoming more common. Changing careers a number of times have to be considered. Flexibility, communication skills, interpersonal skills and professionalism are all important too. There are strong links between career development and such factors as socioeconomic status, parents’ educational attainment and cultural background. However, there is a growing body of research related to the effects of family relationships and career success where close relationships provide experiences of security that promote exploration and risk taking. Early experiences are a basis for developing career self-efficacy and interests, as well as career goals and choices throughout life. So, how can your parenting styles, family functioning and interaction influence career development? The role of parenting styles Majority of theorists agree that early childhood experiences play a role in shaping career behaviour. It follows that parent-child relationships influence personality orientations and the development of psychological needs. Vocational interests and choices are some of the ways in which individuals try to satisfy those needs. The links between parenting styles and children achieving these needs are difficult to pinpoint but research evidence is emerging. Parenting styles are broad patterns of child rearing practices, values and behaviours. The authoritative style balances clear, high expectations with emotional support and recognition of children’s autonomy. Studies have associated this style with self-confidence, persistence, social competence, academic success and psychosocial development. Authoritative parents provide a warm family climate, set standards and promote independence, which result in more active career exploration on the part of children. Although authoritarian parenting is associated with school success, demands to conform and fulfil parents’ expectations regarding education and careers can cause a poor fit between the individual and the chosen career. Children with uninvolved parents sometimes struggle because they do not pursue interests that involve places and persons outside the family as easily. This makes it more difficult for children to develop self-knowledge and differentiate their own career goals from their parents’ goals. Family functioning and career development A more holistic way to look at this topic is to discuss the roles of the family. Overall family functioning, a broader notion that includes parenting style, includes such factors as support and guidance, positive or negative environmental influences and family members’ interaction styles. Family functioning has a greater influence on career development than either family structure (size, birth order, number of parents) or parents’ educational and occupational status. Parental support and guidance can include specific career/educational suggestions or choices, as well as experiences that support career development. These can be family holidays, provision of resources such as musical instruments and books as well as modelling of paid and unpaid work roles. On the other hand, lack of guidance and encouragement can lead to the inability to develop and pursue a specific career focus and can also take the form of disagreement, like when a parent pressures a child towards a particular career and may withdraw financial and emotional support for a career path they disagree with. For example, your child wants to study art and you want them to be a doctor. Family functioning also includes reactions to stressful circumstances by a child. For instance, making hasty, unreflective career choices in an attempt to flee or survive the family environment. On the other hand, life events can encourage learning that can shape a career direction. So, both significant others and critical incidents are all important in career decision making. Many people now move sideways in a company whilst continually developing skills and knowledge to stay employable. In this respect, what conscious and subconscious influences do you make as a parent in relation to your child’s career choice and development? Dr Clare Beckett-McInroy The four types of parenting styles are: • indulgent: more responsive than demanding; • authoritarian: highly demanding and directive but not responsive; • authoritative: both demanding and responsive; • uninvolved: low in responsiveness and demandingness. Parenting Styles The evidence shows that, to support career development, families should be: • well-organised • cohesive • expressive • transparent • trustworthy • able to seek ways to develop positively • sociable • democratic decision makers • positive towards individual development • emotional Career Development STAR LETTER Now Write Write Here
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